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Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."

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Two aliens are flying near earth

Two aliens are flying near earth The first one says, "The dominant life form here have developed satellite based nuclear weapons." The second one says, "Are they an emerging intelligence?" The first one says, "I don't think so, they have it aimed at themselves."

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A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a crowded local bar, holding a pistol in his hand and yelling, I have a 45 caliber pistol here with seven rounds in the barrel plus one in the chamber and I want to know whos been sleeping with my wife. A voice from the other end of the bar called out, "Youll need more ammo".

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Funny  >  Jokes