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Doctor to a patient: "I have good and bad news for you. Which one would you like to hear first?" "The good one please." "I found the diagnosis of your illness, it means you have two days to live." "And the bad one?" "Ive been trying to reach you for two days."
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes - and two months later you have to start all over again.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?