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Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He stayed up all night trying to decide if there really was a dog!
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face". I said, "You'll be sorry". He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.