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What's my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait, I'm describing my bed again.
A guy walks into a store and buys six jumbo boxes of condoms. The store clerk asks the man, "What are you going to do with all of those?" The guy replies, "I taught my dog to swallow them, and now he shits in little plastic baggies!"