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Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He stayed up all night trying to decide if there really was a dog!
"I have good news and bad news," the defence lawyer says to his client. "What's the bad news?" The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found at the murder scene." "Dammit!" cries the client. "What's the good news?" "Well," the lawyer says, "Your cholesterol is down to 140."
One time, a guy handed me a picture and said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger". Every picture of you is when you were younger.
What do you get when you cross an iPhone 6 plus and skinny jeans? A LG Flex.