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"It has never bothered me that my fiancee's not Jewish until a week ago. We were home. We were doing the crossword together. The clue is 'a Hebrew month,' four letters. He writes, 'July.'"
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.