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New Year's is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar.
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively: "How do you give shoulders?"
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He stayed up all night trying to decide if there really was a dog!