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A woman at a golf course begins yelling, ''I've been stung by a bee!'' Her golf instructor asks her where she had been stung. ''Between the first and second hole,'' she replies. The golf instructor tells her, ''Oh, your stance is too wide.''
A sick patient asked his doctor, ''Flu?'' The doctor replied, ''No, I came on my bicycle actually!''
How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree? Wave.
New Year's is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar.
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively: "How do you give shoulders?"