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I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail. I sent it right back, way too expensive and really bad quality.
Late one night a robber wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, "You cant do this Im a US Congressman!" "Oh! In that case," smiled the robber, "Give me MY money!"
What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist? "Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?"
Ive always thought my neighbours were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.