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I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and 5 on a calculator? She couldn't find the "10" button.
Doctor to a patient: "I have good and bad news for you. Which one would you like to hear first?" "The good one please." "I found the diagnosis of your illness, it means you have two days to live." "And the bad one?" "Ive been trying to reach you for two days."
Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? Because they part for every little shit.