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What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
Two aliens are flying near earth The first one says, "The dominant life form here have developed satellite based nuclear weapons." The second one says, "Are they an emerging intelligence?" The first one says, "I don't think so, they have it aimed at themselves."